
It was the busiest of weeknights before Christmas
Shopping one evening at Pak'n'Save
I'd budgeted a week's worth of groceries
For a family of four under $175
I'd packed it all myself in three empty boxes
Left in the corner, same boxes
The groceries came from on the factory floor
(I like that it's low maintenance packaging)
Anyway, I pack them in the back of the car
And I drive them all the way home.
Now Pak'n'Save is actually a long distance from our place. I figure the extra car mile is worth all those savings.
Only when we've started unpacking do I realise my wallet is missing.
My Commes des Garcon wallet-
My Commes des Garcon wallet Duncan

Has just bought me, in Australia-
My green leather Commes des Garcon wallet!
I put my hands up to my head and grab great handfuls of hair and pull so hard my eyeballs pop out.
Duncan says "you gotta go back, you gotta drive back!"
So I jump back into my car and hoon all the way back to Pak'n'Save.
And I'm saying my prayers all the way.
I pull up into the carpark
Beelining for the front of the store
I stride to Pak'n'Save's office counter -
But when I get there I'm too frightened to speak!
The counter for some reason is much higher
They have to climb up some steps to sit behind it.
A man grins ear to ear as he looks down at me.
He is holding my green wallet up in the air.
I have to cover my face in my hands
The relief leaves a few tears even
The man takes my drivers license out from my wallet, checks my ID and hands it back just like that.
I had left it on a table while I packed my groceries and then had just walked away.
"A common event," the smiling Pak'n'Save man said. "But not a common enough wallet."
"Praise be!" I replied.
The man kept grinning. "Praise be to who?"
"Praise be to You, smiling Pak'n'Save man! And the yellow store where you pack your groceries yourself in the boxes they came from, which has enough security in that concept alone that no one will even steal a green leather wallet when you leave them one."

And praise be to Duncan
For buying me just this, from Comme des Garcon no less,
One that's green and leather.
It might be the only one for 1000 miles
And praise be to Wellington too
I don't know another capital
Where you can leave your fancy wallet
On a table at your local Pak'n'Save
And more would hand it in to lost property
Than steal it. Praise be!
Yeah Wellington City!
Amen.